Self Hatred, Self Torture
by Nails For Biting
Summary: I hoped that this wouldn’t turn out like Romeo and Juliet had, though. Romeo would find out that it’d been a lie Juliet wasn’t dead.. Rosalie's POV After telling Edward Bella had died. Oneshot.


_ This story was inspired by the "Extras" on Stephenie's website. I read "Miscalculations" and had to finish it. So, here it is. By the way, it's my longest one! Over 1,00 words. _

_I don't own TWILIGHT._

**SELF HATRED, SELF TORTURE**_  
_

Rosalie's POV

_ "Emmett!" I screamed. "Emmett, _help_!"_

I pushed my legs faster, searching for anyone of my family's scent. "Emmett!!" I screamed again. If I were human, I would be crying right now. If I were human, I would probably be passed out right now.

I caught Emmett's sent and followed it. I spotted him, finishing off a grizzly. "_Emmett!!_" I screamed, darting in front of him. "Rose?" he asked, bewildered. I put my hands on his shoulders.

"It's Bella! She's alive! And.. I kind of told Edward she was dead.. Alice saw him – saw him going to the V-Volturi…Alice and Bella are going to save him.. I didn't mean to, Emmett! I just wanted.. I wanted him here with us, I wanted us all to be happy again.." I sobbed into his shoulder. He put his arms reassuringly around me. "I'll get Jasper and tell him we're leaving for Italy. We have to stop him… the idiot!" he shouted. I nodded and grabbed his hand.

"Jasper!" he yelled. Jasper appeared next to a tree a few feet away. His eyes were wide, probably sensing the panic, the fear and rage in the atmosphere coming off of Emmett and I. "Yes? What's wrong?" he asked. "Edward. Rose told him Bella had died, and Alice saw him going to the Volturi. Alice and Bella are leaving to go get him, to stop him. Rose and I are going, too." He said, so fast it was just a rush of words.

Jasper's eyes widened even more, if that were possible. He growled and jumped on me. "_WHAT _were you thinking, Rosalie?! Alice, MY ALICE, is going to Italy, were she will most likely be killed. You have RUINED my existence Rosalie!!" he spat at me. I let out a sob. "I'm sorry, Jasper, I'm sorry.." I sobbed. Emmett pried Jasper off of me and tried to calm him down. I could understand what Jasper was feeling, there was no reason for living without his Alice..

"You two sure as hell bring my wife back. _Alive._" He growled, glaring at me. Emmett nodded and slapped him on the back. "No worries, Jasper. We'll bring her back, along with Bella and Edward. Go home, call Alice, and tell her we're coming. We'll be there a bit after they arrive, we're running."

Jasper nodded, never once taking his eyes off of me. He darted back to the house. "Don't worry, Rose.. it wasn't your fault. You just want it to be well; you didn't mean any harm. They'll be okay, there is no reason to worry." He murmured.

I wish he'd give me hell for this. He was being all too nice. He needed to be mean and rude to me, as Jasper did. After all, I did kill his brother. There was no doubt in my mind that Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett and I would all die in Italy. As soon as Edward heard us, he'd do something to set off a guard.

Why, why, _why_ did I have to go and tell him? What kind of person was I? Did I enjoy causing people pain?? It wasn't even true. As we were running, I replayed everything in my head, Edward meeting Bella, Edward coming to Denali in refuge, Edward falling in love, my hate for Bella, Bella's eighteenth birthday party, Edward's always dead face after leaving, his two worded sentences, Carlisle never laughing anymore, Esme never smiling. Even my Emmett, so carefree, so happy, never even cracked a grin. Edward really loved this girl, so much to put our family through this. For her. If we survived, I promised myself that I would make an effort to be nicer to Bella. She deserved it. She was sweet; I just never looked at her that way, always jealous.

We arrived at the house, and I ran straight into my room. I grabbed my phone and dialed Edwards's number. It rung a few times, and someone picked up. "Olá? Quem é isto?" (Hello? Who is this?) I sighed in frustration. "Você viu um adolescente pálido? Cabelo de bronze, olhos escuros? O seu nome é Edward, e a sua fala pelo seu telefone." (Have you seen a pale teenager? He has bronze hair, dark eyes? His name is Edward, your speaking on his telephone.) I said, speaking fluent Portuguese. "Não, não tenho." (No, I have not.) I sighed and hung up the phone. He was probably long gone.

I grabbed a t-shirt and jeans, better for running than the skirt and tank top I was currently wearing. I slipped them on absently. I grabbed a pair of socks and sneakers and put them on. I looked down at my ring finger, my wedding ring on it. I slipped it off and sat it on the dresser. I didn't want it to get damaged. I also took off my necklace, a diamond rose that was given to me by Emmett, our 40th anniversary.

I walked slowly down the stairs, taking in the little things, the things I always took for granted. The flowers on the wallpaper, the fancy little engravings on the railing of the stairs. I saw Emmett sitting on the couch, waiting for me. He stood up and walked to me, kissed my cheek. "Let's get going," he murmured, and opened the door for me. I nodded, and went out first.

We took off running. The sun was hidden behind the clouds, snow flittering around us. I grabbed Emmett's hand. He looked over at me and smiled. "Don't worry, Rose. It'll be fine." I nodded, trying to force myself to believe his words. To believe that we'd be okay, that Edward wouldn't succeed on his suicide mission, that Bella and Alice wouldn't die because of him.

Most of all, that Emmett wouldn't suffer because of my foolishness. That he wouldn't be killed or injured. He was too innocent, to happy to be killed over something so silly. It was the modern Romeo and Juliet story, a rumor, a lie, told to Romeo, that Juliet had died, Romeo finding proof that she had been dead, Romeo killing himself.

I hoped that this wouldn't turn out like Romeo and Juliet had, though. Romeo would find out that it'd been a lie; Juliet wasn't dead..

"_Emmett! Rose! Wait!_" I heard someone call. Jasper. We both came to an abrupt stop, in the middle of a snow-covered forest. Jasper was behind us. "I spoke to Alice, she said to stop you."

"What?? No. We're going." Emmett said, turning back around, about to take off again. "Emmett. Stop. You're not going. Alice said that they'll handle it."

I really hoped they could. I could see that we weren't going to leave, Jasper had the upper hand, the persuasion. I could already feel myself trusting him.

"Fine. Let's go back home, Rose." He pulled on my hand, but I remained rooted to the ground. I shook my head and sat down on the snowy ground. I needed time alone, to think. Emmett seemed to get it, he nodded and left with Jasper, but not before kissing me on the cheek, and telling me that he loved me. "Everything is fine," he murmured.

But everything wasn't fine. Alice and Bella were going to Italy, to save my suicidal brother, who I had caused to be suicidal. It was making _me_ suicidal.

I sighed, got up, and started back to Tanya's. Walking slowly, in no rush. It seemed as if time itself had stopped, leaving me to think. The birds sang, without a care in the world. I growled silently.

I was putting myself through hell, but I deserved it. I sat down on a rock covered with damp moss and snow, and put my head in my hands. A small sob escaped my lips. It fully hit me what I had done.

I had killed my brother. I had killed my sister. And I killed my almost – sister.

I was a selfish creature. I had no right to live. I had murdered three loved ones.

I stood up walked back to Tanya's.

I opened the door and slammed it behind me. I plopped down on the couch, feeling horrible Self Hatred.. Self Torture.

I glanced at the clock. Had three days almost passed? I really did not remember being out there so long. Maybe it was the fifty-mile walk. I heard Emmett in the next room over, probably catching my scent.

Emmett walked out of the kitchen, a huge smile on his face. "Rose, they're okay. Bella, Edward, and Alice. Not a scratch on them. Jasper just spoke with Alice. And guess what else? We're moving back to Forks! Isn't that great?" he spoke with much enthusiasm. I let out a huge sigh of relief. They were alive. I _hadn't_ killed them. But I almost did. I'd never forgive myself.

Emmett hugged me tightly, and we walked out to the Mercedes to drive to the airport. To pick up Alice, Edward and Bella. Oh god, I have to face Edward. And Bella. And Alice. I wanted to stay home like the coward I was, but Emmett wouldn't let me. "It's easier to get it over with quickly," he'd said. I was sure my face portrayed no emotion.

I'd never put my family through this again. That's for sure.


End file.
